To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.Ralph waldo emerson
“Get a hobby.” I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve heard that phrase. “Find something you love to do and do it.” Another phrase I had learned to despise.
Well of course I wanted to find something to do. I’ve spent most of my life coping with bipolar disorder & addiction that I used to spend my free time with unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Shopping excessively. Smoking. Drinking. Just doing things to get out of my head & not focus on what’s really going on in my life. I was looking for distractions & not solutions.
I never really thought I was good at anything. I wasn’t the best artist. I was too impatient to sew or craft. And sports? I’m awful. Like someone running around with two left feet.
But then last summer I decided I wanted to be a “farmer.” I was manic & became obsessed over the idea, literally researching everything I could find about pigs & goats. I thought it would be a cool idea to write about it & so Farmerish was created.
It has been a year since I made Farmerish. What started out as a “silly idea” to blog about my farming journey, turned into a mental health site where I now collaborate with BpHope Magazine for Bipolar & National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI).
I’ve had so many misconceptions about myself over the years living with bipolar disorder & addiction, and I knew people had misconceptions about me as well. Farmerish turned into more than just a diary, but hopefully a place where people can feel understood & not so alone.
I’ve created relationships with people from all over the world. Rekindled friendships from my past. I was astonished at how many people were struggling with the same thoughts I had. It truly made me realize, “you are not alone.”
And that’s the most important thing I’ve learned. We are not alone. We are not crazy. We may feel crazy but our feelings or thoughts are not always reality.
So to everyone who’s supported me by even just taking the time to read my posts or my articles for BpHope- I truly thank you.
Thank you for pushing me to be a better person. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. Thank you for not judging me and letting myself just be me for once in my life.
Because that’s all we can do. Just be ourselves. And we all deserve to be loved, seen, & heard.